The Art of Doing

To Change Someone’s Mind, Stop Fighting

What if everything you thought about being
right was wrong? What if the urge to win arguments turned out to be life’s No. 1 killer of dreams? 

But…but…but, isn’t arguing our national pastime? 


Feuding, disputatious people—some of them raging and red-faced—are the stars of just about every cable news show, reality series, network drama and certainly our recent presidential election. Arguments are so fascinating that way back in the early days of the 20th century, Dale Carnegie, a self-described “inveterate arguer,” was going to write a book on the subject. But then he had a change of heart. “I have listened to, engaged in and watched the effect of thousands of arguments,” Carnegie wrote in his anti-argument, mega-best seller of the ages, How to Win Friends and Influence People. His findings? “There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument—and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattle-snakes and earthquakes.” 

So what to do instead? Read here for our full story.